I now belong to an age bracket where my peers are having their third child and some of their first-born children are legal for marriage. But some of them are rushing against the biological clock to squeeze out a last-minute baby.
There are two important questions we normally ask when a baby is born; what name they have chosen and for the life of me I do not understand why people as how much the offspring weighed at birth. In our African culture, we have this absurd notion that we can name the child after the season, time of day, who the father was or even who the mid-wife was. It makes a little bit of sense since a child could be called something that you can relate to.
Welcome to the 21st century where the X, Y and Z generation have to answer to no one because they know it all. That is where names like ‘Chamdor’ or ‘Whiskey’ or even ‘Facebook’ are becoming a norm. Most people would name their kids after heroes from the Bible or the Quran but there is a new breed of clueless nut-heads. So, when you call to ask the name and ‘Instagram Kenyatta’ comes up, you have to politely answer in hushed tones ‘How veery ummmmh, okey?’.
People have always named their children after inspiration. That’s why you would find names like Michael, Ruby, Amani, Opal. But it seems we are living in a generation where inspiration comes from social media and celebrities. Therefore, when a pal of mine named their kid Kimani South, I had to challenge his innovative thought process. Kanye West will always get away with a lot things but not your child while growing up. There are several names that will always be a hindrance like, Dickson or Virginia, but when you name a child Tumbler or Del Monte, come on, you are pushing it.
Before naming your child Coke Studio or Vitz, it is important to remember that the poor thing will be hugely affected by the name you choose. The first president of Kenya named one of his children Uhuru (meaning freedom) and went on to become a president himself. A research shows that teenagers are more sensible than we anticipated. They are more into patriotism, unity and overall progress, so they will have a problem when you name them Fanta or Arsenal.
That is why I admire the Icelandic naming system. In the inspiring northern part if this world your surname is your father’s Christian name followed by ‘son’ or ‘dottir’ tagged at the end. That would mean that my new name would be Samuel Jameson.
